Rabbi Heller's Blog

“Sit, Sit, I’m just changing the towels!” In the 1960’s, when my father of blessed memory was in rabbinical school at the Jewish Theological Seminary, the students (all male, and mostly unmarried) lived in a dormitory, where there was maid service. One of the maids was famous for bursting in on the students to clean the bathrooms while students were using them, and, if they protested, would offer that refrain.

On the one hand, perhaps the students should have been glad that there was someone to pick up after them (pictures of my JTS dorm will confirm that by the 1990’s that was sadly no longer the case). On the other, hand, this incident points out that sometimes two people may have a very different sense of what constitutes an interruption or disruption. 

In this week’s portion, Hukkat, the Israelites are approaching the land of Canaan. The most direct route would have taken them through the land of the Edomites. The Israelites offer to pass through as the most polite of guests, promising to stay only on the King’s highway, not passing through any fields or vineyards and to consume nothing, not even to drink water from the wells. The Edomites continue to refuse passage, even after the Israelites sweeten the deal , and offer to purchase water, so as to enrich the Edomites. Ultimately the Israelites chose to go around the wrong way rather than press the issue.

The Israelites thought that their passage would be no disruption, or that at worst, they would compensate the Edomites any harm or hardship. Were the Edomites merely being inhospitable?  Were they skeptical of the Israelite’s motives and concerned about an invasion? Or perhaps what the Israelites felt would be just a quick pass through felt to them like an unwarranted intrusion. The Israelites respected the Edomites’ wishes and went the long way around. As it turns our tradition looks down on the Edomites, and in Deuteronomy we commanded that as a  punishment for their lack of hospitality, the Edomites would not be welcomed as converts for multiple generations.

Nevertheless, we can note the dilemma, what might seem unobtrusive to one person might be considered a disruption or intrusion by others. We encounter this  in our sanctuary. In our congregation we make announcements about not only silencing cellphones, but even having them put away during kiddush, when there is no chance that the noise of a ringer would be disruptive. The reason is the presence of these screens interferes with the feeling of Shabbat that we are trying to create. We are, in general, far more tolerant of all but the most extreme noises made by children in synagogue. If you look at the archived videos of many of my sermons, there is often a pause for a child to run across the sanctuary, yelling as they go. Cellphones do not grow up to be future shulgoers.

And what about talking? My ancestor, Rabbi Yom Tov Lippman Heller, actually wrote a prayer blessing those who do not talk in synagogue. Based on contemporaneous reports of the noise levels in the synagogues where he served, many of his parishoners were not worthy of this blessing! I happen to think that talking has a place in synagogue: the Hebrew name for synagogue is “Beit Knesset,” which literally means a place of gathering. Part of the spirituality of shul is being in community with others. They key is to do so in a way that does not distract those around us. I’ll occasionally raise my hand and ask folks to be quiet, not because I’m offended, but just because I’m afraid that whatever they are talking about will be more interesting than what I have to say, and I’ll get distracted and lose my train of thought!

The Israelites felt (and perhaps rightly) that they could pass through without causing interruption or disruption. The Edomites preferred peace and quiet. In parashat Hukkat at least, the Torah seems to side with the Israelites.