Rabbi Heller's Blog

Even as we observe Mother’s Day this Sunday, Judaism asks us to celebrate our parents every single day. The Ten Commandments, found in Exodus and Deuteronomy, demand “honor your father and your mother.” Then, in the portion that we read this week, Kedoshim, a key verse (Leviticus 19:3) also reflects our obligation to parents, “a man must fear his mother and father.” 

Those verses might seem to say the same thing, but there are several quirks of language that attract the attention of the sages. The order of parents is switched and fear replaces honor. The sages suggest that these changes reflect the stereotypical relationships with each type of parent, so that one might be more inclined to fear one’s father and honor one’s mother. Finally, the sages note that the command begins in the singular, but that the word “fear” is in a plural form, and take it to mean that the obligation to fear parents falls upon not just men, as mentioned explicitly in the verse, but women as well. The question of how our collective mothers and fathers are honored in our liturgy and how that perception impacts each of us, has been brought to me by a few members of the congregation. I want to bring it to our larger community, in particular to those who are invested in the liturgy for further study in the coming month.

The traditional, time-hallowed words of the opening of the Amidah describe God as the God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob. This particular formulation reflects the language of Exodus 3:6, 3:15 and 4:5, and is based on two key ideas. First, that because God is so difficult to describe, the liturgy of this section of the Amidah should hew closely to the language of the Bible. Second, while there were many biblical heroes and heroines, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob had unique relationships with God, so much so that each of the three daily services are considered to be modeled on one of them.

Starting over 30 years ago, a movement began among some Conservative congregations to modify the first blessing of the Amidah to include the Imahot (matriarchs) - Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. Rabbi Joel Rembaum wrote a teshuvah justifying the practice and suggesting particular language. Rabbi David Golinkin, an important Conservative/Masorti rabbi in Israel, wrote a sharp critique in response]. Meanwhile, both versions of the prayer have appeared side-by-side in Conservative prayer books for several decades. 

The halachic issues involved are complex. Jewish liturgy is highly structured and certain formulations must be included to fulfill one’s obligation. At the same time, there are indeed significant variations in our liturgy - many of the blessings of the Amidah find alternative expression in the prayer books of Jews from different regions of the world. Even in what we might think of as the “standard” siddur, there are substantial seasonal additions and modifications (for example, the many phrases added and changed during the 10 days of penitence or the lengthy poetic insertions on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). One must study the traditional rules of liturgy to determine: does this change fall within the spectrum of acceptable variations? Is it a deviation that is tolerated after the fact, but not to be encouraged? Or, does it go altogether beyond the guardrails of acceptable liturgy?

The philosophical issues are equally thorny. The role of gender in our tradition continues to evolve. If certain types of people are underrepresented in the liturgy, does that mean we are essentially valuing them less? How important is it to have spiritual role models who are of one’s own gender? How well can we relate to role models who are not? Parashat Kedoshim tells us that we must keep both our foremothers and forefathers in mind, but the manner may vary based on the context. Even thousands of years ago, the commentators asked whether a biblical text that only addresses male language can be interpreted to include  women, or whether both need to be mentioned in order to provide a spiritually complete message.  

As our congregation has adopted Conservative prayer books, we have incorporated many of their liturgical variations into our practice. For example, rather than thanking God “who has not made me a woman” we thank God “for making us in the divine image.” In the passage describing the song at the Red Sea, many of our leaders mention Miriam along with Moses because she also had a hand in that moment. We mention the matriarchs in our prayers for healing. However, in the first blessings of the Amidah, we have continued to mandate the traditional language, because of the special nature of the Amidah and an emotional connection to its time-honored formulation, as well as some of the specific concerns about the change that Rabbi Golinkin raised. We have allowed it in some of our alternative and experiential services, which assume a greater liturgical flexibility.

Two factors, one external and one internal, have come together to lead me to reconsider my approach, and whether it may be time to permit the inclusion of the Imahot in the Amidah in our main service. The first is that late last year Rabbi Rembaum offered an update of his teshuvah that responded forcefully to many aspects of Golinkin’s critique, and went further to suggest that the version of the Imahot found in our siddur should now be the preferred liturgy.

His update was approved 16-4 with one abstention. Few will be shocked to learn that I was one of the four “no” votes and, in fact, was the principal author of a dissent. Our dissent rejected the claim that the traditional liturgy should be retired and objected to aspects of the specific phrasing that he recommends (in particular, adding Sarah to the very end of the blessing, where previously only Abraham was mentioned). At the same time,we had to concede that in principle, it is permitted to add the Imahot to the body of the blessing. 

The second factor is that there is a generation of younger people, including children who grew up in our congregation, who feel that they need to see female role models as well in order to truly connect to Jewish liturgy. In our portion this week, the Torah says “a man” and the sages assume that women are included as well, but for many young women, that type of visibility by induction is not sufficient. To feel truly included, they need to be able to see themselves in the liturgy. Among this group are some of the more educated and observant members of our community, and some Bat Mitzvah students who are hoping to lead services and have the potential to join our regular roster of leaders. 

As the senior rabbi of our congregation, it is my job to set guardrails regarding what is forbidden and what is permitted, but if there are multiple acceptable options, I have an obligation to be attuned to which ones best meet the needs of the congregation. For some in our community, hearing this changed language, even occasionally, might be quite jarring, but there are others it who have found it to be uplifting. I would also note that, while I personally lean towards the traditional approach, both of my rabbinic colleagues are open to or even encouraging of allowing the option.

In keeping with my dissent, I am absolutely not considering mandating the Imahot as the required/standard liturgy of our congregation, but given that it is “kosher,” I think it is a fair question as to whether a version of it should be a permitted option at the discretion of the service leader. If so, it would also be necessary to resolve whether we would use the most common formulation or one of the variants that avoid potential objections. 

As has been our practice with other liturgical changes, the next step is study and conversation with our community. I would encourage all who are interested to read the position papers linked above, and to watch a sermon I gave a few months ago as I was beginning to consider this question.

In addition, we are offering three sessions for those who would like to study and engage in dialogue around the philosophical and halachic issues:

• May 18 at 10AM for a special “Coffee and Commentary” with me

• May 21 at noon for a Rabbinin Musings session (available in person and on Zoom)

• June 1 at 6PM during Shaleshudis

I warmly invite you to attend one of these sessions, or to chat with any of the rabbis. We will bring the feedback we receive back to the Ritual Committee, we will make a determination over the summer.