Rabbi Heller's Blog

One of the hardest things about hospitality-- particularly with Jews-- is getting an accurate guest list. We experience it at the synagogue. When we host a dinner or event, we usually have to commit to a food order for a dinner or event by a certain date. Then, right before the event, (several days after our order deadline), there is a sudden stampede of people wanting to sign up. We have to guess how many people will come, and we are faced with the dilemma of over-ordering and perhaps wasting food and money, or ordering only for those who have signed up as of our logistical deadline, thus having to turn people away. It’s a conundrum. Granted, there are far, far worse troubles in the world, but this is one that has an impact very close to home. The Torah acknowledges this challenge in several ways and offers hints at a resolution.

Parashat Bo begins with the plague of locusts (in and of themselves a great metaphor for the buffet at some events). Pharaoh’s courtiers are concerned about the onset of the plague, and summon Moses and Aaron. He offers a command and a question. He says “Go worship your God,” and then follows up asking “who is going?” Moses gives a quite comprehensive answer. “With our young and our old we will go, with our sons and daughters, our sheep and our herds, for it is a festival of God.” Pharaoh is not having it. The scale of the departure is far beyond what he had anticipated or was willing to accept, and he refuses the request. As we know, more plagues ensue, and the Israelites do eventually go free, but only after much suffering. While I am generally not sympathetic to Pharaoh, I can appreciate that the experience of expecting a crowd of a particular size and being overwhelmed by a throng of much greater magnitude is a challenge, even when crowds are welcomed. 

Caterers often require a final count from us 4-5 days before a dinner or event. While we try to over-order to anticipate last minute registrations, we are faced with a dilemma. Being hospitable is one of our most essential values, and we truly hate to turn someone away. On the other hand, while we can put out more chairs, we can’t miraculously make manna fall from heaven, and having people who signed up for dinner go away hungry would also be a negative. Sometimes we have a deadline for an event by which we have to confirm a minimum number, or the event can’t go forward at all. Too often it has happened that at the deadline no-one had signed up, but then two days after that date, several people call and are frustrated that the event that they wanted to sign up for had to be canceled because we didn’t have registrations in time.

Parashat Bo also offers a solution to the dilemma. Two plagues later, the Israelites are preparing for the night of the Exodus. The criteria that they face are reminiscent of the ones that we face. The paschal lamb would have to be eaten in one night. The meat of the sacrifice is holy, so there must not be excess or wasted leftovers. Conversely, there must be enough for each Israelite to eat a portion. What's the solution? The Israelites must make reservations! On the tenth of the month- more than 4 days before the meal-- they have to set aside their lamb, and confirm that the number of people coming to the meal matches the number of participants. If need be, households must plan to split or join together. In the end, there was the opportunity for over 600,000 Israelites to participate and all that was needed was enough time to be properly organized.

We know that people lead busy lives and sometimes cannot commit to a plans too far in advance, or may not even realize that there is an opportunity until just a few days before. Nevertheless, as an organization, we are hoping to create a culture of better communication. Our staff will try to be as clear as possible as to the last date on which confirmed registrations can be taken, and conversely, we ask members of the community to be as proactive in committing to register. By working together on both sides, we will do our best to make sure that very little goes to waste and everyone has a seat at the table.